My Simple, 48-step Plan to Improve the Slam Dunk Contest By Adding a Royal Rumble To It

How just applying The Royal Rumble to the Slam Dunk Contest will improve it in 48 quick steps.

In one of WWEs greatest traditions Wrestlers enter the ring, one after another, minutes apart, fighting until only one is left standing.

This magic moment is known as the Royal Rumble.

My simple, 48-step plan would create “The New Slam Dunk Contest of Parallel Universe Futures To Come: Royal Rumble Edition”.

1. The contest starts. Important step, maybe the most important.
2. Just like today’s contest, the fans are aware of 4 contestants ahead of time.
3. We see them standing in the middle of the court.
4. They wave to the fans, America tunes in.
5. But oh wait, what’s this?
6. The lights go out.
7. A large countdown clock hovers on the Jumbotron over head.
8. A 20 foot tall number “60” floats above the blacked out arena.
9. Then…59…58…
10. Dr. J grabs the mic and yells at the first contestant, “time to dunk young buck, you have 57 seconds…56…55”
11. The first contestant shits his pants. He was not ready for this.
12. He grabs a ball and throws down a dunk.
13. 32…31…30
14. Dr J. “What else you got young buck?”
15. That’s right, contestants have to throw down as many completed dunks as they can in the first 60 seconds.
16. Young Buck gets in another clean slam.
17. The countdown clock hits 0.
18. No one knows what the clock was counting down to.
19. Now a spotlight, on the far end of the court where…
20. Out runs motherfucking Vince Carter.
21. He starts dunking on the opposite end of the court as Young Buck #1.
22. No time to waste. Vince starts ripping slams with his shirt off.
23. He’s still in great shape for a 43 year old.
24. Young Buck #1 has to stop attempting slam dunks as soon as Carter connects with his first.
25. “Young Buck #2, your turn”, Dr J yells excitedly.
26. Dr. J LOVES saying the phrase, “young buck”.
27. YB#2 and Vince are on opposite ends, dunking their hearts, and our minds, out.
28. The countdown clock resets.
29. 60…59…58…
30. Carter continues throwing it down while YB#2 is still getting his bearing, almost lost…lost in the heat of it all.
31. The countdown clock hits 0.
32. Fucking Giannis Antetokounmpo and Khris Middleton, suspended by wires, come flying down from the nosebleeds.
33. Middleton lands court side and instantly lobs to Giannis who dunks over the announcers table.
34. Young Buck #3 realizes he needs a teammate for this one.
35. He grabs his guy from the crowd and starts leaping over him, as many attempts and connected dunks as he can get in 60 seconds.
36. But we’re not finished.
37. Now the clock hits 0 again.
38. The lights come up.
39. A still falls over the air.
40. LeBron James comes up from a hole in the floor of the arena.
41. The crowd goes wild.
42. He holds a finger up to his lips, it silences them.
43. Young Buck #4 is trying his best to connect with the rim but he’s in complete awe of James.
44. James takes one run at the basket and jumps from the free throw line, slamming it home.
45. James lets the rest of his time run out.
46. Baller move.
47. YB#4 is intimidated, doesn’t make another dunk.
48. Dr. J announces the end…of round 1.

The arena catches its breath.

Maybe the top 4 of the 7, who just engaged in a brutal Royal Rumble Dunkathon, now slow down a bit and get one shot each at another dunk.

Maybe the rest of the contest goes on the way all Slam Dunk Contests have gone over the past 30 years.

Maybe, just maybe, we throw in a late round contender who has been given a bye over the last two rounds.

Maybe that person is someone who has won the contest in a previous year by jumping over a car.

The point is, the slam dunk contest has the potential to be even more slam dunk contest if it can also be a royal rumble.

For more on what the NBA could learn from the WWE.