7 Indie Rock Lyrics About Psychological Theories

The Hiigh Low
10 min readFeb 26, 2022

1. “Folding John Wayne’s t-shirt, when the swing set hit his head”

Song: “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”

Artist: Sufjan Stevens

Album: Illinois

Year: 2005

Psychological Thing: Traumatic Brain Injuries in the childhoods of serial killers

To understand what Sufjan is referring to in his song “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”, we have to take a quick visit to the childhood of Richard Ramirez, aka The Night Stalker.

Marcus Parks: At the age of 2 years old he (Ramirez) had the first of — what happened to many serial killers when they were young children — the first of 2 massive head injuries

Henry Zibrowski: It’s really interesting because, — John Wayne Gacy had the massive head injury.

(About 30 seconds later)

Marcus Parks: a dresser fell on top of Richard Ramirez when he was 2-years-old, took 30 stitches to stitch up his forehead. 3 years later, when he was 5, he was knocked unconscious by a swing at a park, which I believe was the same thing that happened to John Wayne Gacy.

The Last Podcast on the Left, Episode 110

What the guys of TLPotL were discussing is a phenomena in which many serial killers experience traumatic brain injuries as young children. The thinking is that these injuries could damage, or stunt the development of, a person’s frontal lobe, an area of the brain responsible for inhibitions.

A 2014 meta-study analyzing the “Neurodevelopmental and psychosocial risk factors in serial killers and mass murderers” found,

one study suggesting that one in four serial killers had suffered either a head injury or (more rarely) a condition affected the brain — such as meningitis during their early years

The analysis, which claims “the combined effects of psychosocial stressors, head injury, and ASD have never previously been examined in a systematic review” found that “of the 239 eligible killers, 106 were found to have evidence of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and/or head injury, 58 were mass murderers and 48 were serial killers (who had all killed three or more people

As far as I understand neuroscience, human’s frontal lobe is responsible for our evolution as a species and is more or less just brakes to the always pedal-to-the-metal gas of our reptilian base. These head injuries sustained by many serial killers as children, damage or altogether remove those brakes.

2. “Sometimes all is lost, the moment you hesitate”

Song: “Every Time Katie”

Band: David Wax Museum

Album: Guesthouse

Year: 2015

Psychological Thing: Flow State

Do you ever look back at a moment, in the slow-motion of memory, and pinpoint the second you should have done that thing that you didn’t do?

Do you ever wonder how so many, many opportunities passed you by due to your indecisiveness?

Then you, like me, have something in common, I’m sorry to tell you, with — again, so sorry to say this about us — Mitchell Trubisky.

Now, whether this player in the end zone with his arms up signaling that he’s open, is open or not, is up for discussion.

Many ex-players, and even current players, said that this picture is deceiving. That the “game looks awfully easy in slow motion, much less still-framed”.

Lol everything look open on a screenshot, @haha_cd6 woulda been Lambeau leapin if he woulda threw this, facts 🤷🏽‍♂️ https://t.co/x1iwUQNHjm

— Kevin King (@King_kevvoo) September 11, 2018

Whether this play would’ve been a touchdown with a different quarterback holding the ball is impossible to say, but what it is easier to say, is that Aaron Rodgers is a better quarterback than Mitchell Trubisky.

Many great players, like Aaron Rodgers and not like Mitch Trubisky, have testified to the feeling that, when they’re at their best, the game “slows down”. And they’re right.

Athletes are right: The game really does slow down for them

Headline from GlobalSportMatters

This is due to a neurological state of being known as “flow”.

Not to group myself with elite, professional level athletes, but part of the reason I write this blog every week is to achieve a state of flow: to create a space in this very scheduled life, where the effects of time are removed entirely. In a flow state, not only do things slow down for athletes, they speed up for creatives, as in, hours of writing can pass without notice.

A moment of hesitation, as David Wax Museum is aware, is enough for lose it all. Great players don’t hesitate.

The guy who discovered Flow State it did a Ted Talk on it, and wouldn’t you know it? He does a better job of explaining it than I can.

3. “How far can I go from my pain before it takes my life?”

Song: “Euphoria”

Band: Motopony

Album: Motopony

Year: 2009

Psychological Thing: Self-Medication Theory of Addiction or Opioid Use Disorder

This entire stanza from Motopony’s “Euphoira” is worth sharing, as it describes an aspect of addiction better than any other song I’ve heard.

Euphoria, Euphoria, you come at such a price

Every time I get a hold of you, I know I roll the dice

How far can I go from my pain before it takes my life?

Perhaps in death, Euphoria, you’ll be forever mine

The idea that addicts are taking drugs to ease the pain of their existence is called the Self-Medication Theory of Addiction and posits the idea that, “substances of abuse help such individuals to relieve painful affects or to experience or control emotions when they are absent or confusing”

This theory is not free from its problematic aspects.

some argue that the theory may absolve illicit drug users of some of the responsibility for their problems. Another stance taken against the self-medication theory is that by arguing that people with addictions are self-medicating, the theory legitimizes drug use, and medication generally, as a way of solving emotional problems.

VeryWellMind

Since addiction is such a complex aspect of human psychology, science is (as science does) constantly updating its understanding, with Opioid Use Disorder only becoming a documented disorder in 2013 with the 5th volume of the DSM. The addition of this new term, one created to address the phenomena that has led to a “22-fold increase in the total number of (American) deaths involving fentanyl and other synthetic opioids” between 2002 and 2017, is evidence of how the ways in which we think about addiction are ever-changing, and hopefully, ever-evolving.

With the reference to pain in the Motopony lyric, and opioids being commonly thought of as “painkillers”, Opioid Use Disorder ties even closer to the lyrics than the author probably ever intended.

4. “When you love somebody, and bite your tongue, all you get is a mouthful of blood”

Song: “When U Love Somebody”

Band: Fruit Bats

Album: Mouthfuls

Year: 2003

Psychological Thing: Regret and Functional Neurological Symptom Disorder

Turning regret into a physical act of self-violence, one that results in the extremely physical act of bleeding one’s own blood, is not only clever songwriting on the Fruit Bats part, but correctly conveys the almost-physical level of injury regret can take on the bodies of those it inhabits.

Regret isn’t just a romantic writers crutch trope, it can “seriously damage your mental health”, per a headline from The Guardian.

It is self-flagellation, and it can be incredibly damaging to our mental health. It is exhausting, it sucks all joy and fulfilment from our days and it leaves us stuck, always looking backwards and unable to move forward in our lives.

The Guardian

But in the case of the Fruit Bats, their distress at their own romantic ineptitude is presenting in the form of a physical symptom.

This can also be very loosely interpreted as the symptoms of a very rare condition called Conversion Disorder, or Functional Neurological Symptom Disorder,

The term “functional” refers to abnormal functioning of the central nervous system.

The term “conversion” comes from the idea that psychological distress is being converted into a physical symptom. The cause is not known.

And while biting ones tongue is not specifically listed as the symptoms of this painful disorder,

Poor coordination or balance

Abnormal movements

Paralysis or weakness

Difficulty speaking or swallowing

Retention of urine

Loss of touch or pain sense

Blindness or other visual symptoms

Deafness

Seizures, convulsions or “attacks”

Harvard

…the Fruit Bats accidental self-flagellation does have one thing in common with Conversion Disorder, one that is temptingly poetic, “psychological factors, such as stress or conflict, are associated with the appearance of the physical symptoms”.

While I’m having a bit of fun taking these lyrics too literally, and these diagnoses not literally enough, it is pretty well-documented that “prolonged feelings of shame and guilt”, the less-sexy cousins of romantic regret, “may lead to physical symptoms”.

5. “I’m not unfaithful but I’ll stray, when I get a little scared”

Song: “Back In Your Head”

Band: Tegan & Sara

Album: The Con

Year: 2007

Psychological Thing: Fearful-avoidant attachment style in adults

It’s almost like the sisters Quin wrote “Back In Your Head” about the time they read the Wikipedia entry on Fearful-avoidant attachment style in adults.

I will now quote three lines from “Back In Your Head” and list three sentences that Feaful-avoidants agree with. Let’s see if we can tell the difference.

Build a wall of books between us in our bed.

When I jerk away from holding hands with you, I know these habits hurt important parts of you.

I’m not unfaithful but I’ll stray, when I get a little scared.

I am somewhat uncomfortable getting close to others.

I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to completely trust others, or to depend on them.

I sometimes worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to other people.

There are secure adults, and then there are all sorts of insecure adults.

One of the sub-types of insecure adults is Fearful-avoidant.

Unlike a securely attached child, who, if left in a room with strangers, “explores the room freely when his mother is present” and “is happy when she returns”, an insecurely attached child of the avoidant-insecure subtype, “doesn’t explore much”, and “doesn’t show much emotion when her mother leaves”.

Whether Tegan and Sara are anything like the characters in their song, they nailed the avoidant style of attachment with their small details on hands and withholding.

6. “I even scared myself, by talking about Dahmer on your couch”

Song: “Killer”

Artist: Phoebe Bridgers

Album: Stranger In The Alps

Year: 2017

Psychological Thing: Intrusive Thoughts.

Leave it to someone born in Wisconsin (me) — the land of Ed Gein (influence on both Psycho and The Silence of the Lambs) and Jeffrey Dahmer — to find a way to get multiple references to serial killers into an article about indie rock.

Phoebe Bridgers might not technically be the ghost of Elliott Smith, haunting us with sad, falsetto laments, trading in Smith’s acoustic guitar for some fuzzy synths, ratcheting up the imagery for a younger generation, but there is no other artist who comes as close. If there were a “You Must Chose One Person Who You Think Could Be The Ghost of Elliott Smith” contest and I was the only judge, I would have to award Bridgers first place. I don’t even think there would be a second place.

On “Killer”, Bridgers scares herself with her thoughts.

Sometimes I think I’m a killer
I scared you in your house
I even scared myself by talking
About Dahmer on your couch

Often, sufferers of intrusive thoughts are scared by them.

Sarah Fielding wrote about her experience with these thoughts for Healthline.

In the summer of 2016, I was struggling with flaring anxiety and poor mental health overall. I had just come back from a year abroad in Italy, and I was experiencing reverse culture shock that was incredibly triggering. On top of the frequent panic attacks I was having, I was dealing with something else that was equally frightening: intrusive thoughts.

With more regularity, I found myself thinking about things like, “What would it feel like to be stabbed by that knife right now?” or “What would happen if I got hit by a car?” I’d always been curious about things, but these thoughts felt far beyond regular morbid curiosities. I was completely terrified and confused.

While at one time these kind of thoughts may have been thought of as evil, the technique of mindfulness — historically linked to Eastern philosophies including Buddhism — tells us that these thoughts don’t reflect our values as a person, and should not be fought, but rather, accepted, and let go.

One of the most distressing is that having such thoughts mean that you unconsciously want to do the things that come into your mind.

This is simply not true, and, in fact, the opposite is true. It is the effort people use to fight the thought that makes it stick and fuels its return. People fight thoughts because the content seems alien, unacceptable, and at odds with who they are.

Anxiety and Depression Organization of America

7. “Remember all the hours I spent in constant reflection, well it gets you down, but it don’t make it right”

Song: “Wasting Time”

Artist: Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats

Album: Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats

Year: 2015

Psychological Thing: Rumination and Major Depressive Disorder.

There is a scale to measure rumination. It is called the Ruminative Response Scale.

This is to say that people have thought about rumination — they have ruminated over rumination — so much more than you or I probably expected.

The reason, I suppose, that one might ruminate on rumination is due to its ties to many mental health issues, including but not limited to Major depressive disorder.

Rumination increases vulnerability to depression, exacerbates and perpetuates negative moods.

Psychometric properties of the 10-item ruminative response scale in Chinese university students

I think of Rateliff’s lyric as the post-event to Petty’s pre-event lyric, “most of the things I worry about, never happen, anyway”. Petty has anxiety about the future, much of which is, he notices, unnecessary. Rateliff ruminates about the past, to no other end then furthering his own depression (“gets you down”).

Both artists thinking about their over-thinking, both artists making us, when we are our most alone, feel seen.

--

--

The Hiigh Low

A blog giving high-end takes on the low, low art of pop culture. All with a wink and a nod. From Jordan Mark Sandvig